


darker still we find such light

by bibliocratic



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: (in a roundabout way), Established Relationship, Hurt Martin, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protective Eye, Protective Jon, The Unbearable Lightness of Being (a horrifying Eye-monster), post-160
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 20:40:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23163382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bibliocratic/pseuds/bibliocratic
Summary: Martin can't see Jon anymore, but he doesn't expect to. It's not Jon that's in here with them now.Or: Martin and Jon experience the horrific usefulness of being an Avatar.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan Sims
Comments: 24
Kudos: 347





	darker still we find such light

**Author's Note:**

> Minor content warnings - details at the end.

Jon rocks him awake violently, his nails leaving reddened half-moons in the skin of Martin's arm, clamping his other hand vice-tight over his mouth. He is panicked and panicking and Martin's pulling his beaten, aching body up out of muddy awakening, dredging together the scraps of energy he has left.

Jon releases him, and makes sloppy gestures, their meaning imperfectly delivered with how rushed he's being; _Up. Leave. Corruption. Now. Leave. Now. Now._

His mouth and hands make a terrified picture of desperation, and Martin's staggering to standing, steadying himself on the rust-mossed bannister of the car park stairwell they've been sheltering in, trying to shuck exhaustion from his limbs to paw around for his backpack.

It's too late anyway.

Martin can hear the skittering, scraping tumult approaching up the floors below, and Jon must know something he doesn't, because he's grabbing Martin's hand and tugging him manically up, pushing him when he thinks Martin's going too slow, and their feet are tripping on the jutting bulky steps of the concrete stairwell and still Jon is trying to pull them both upwards with nothing but his will and shaky legs. Their thumping, irregular steps echo in the boxy space, and still they aren't fast enough.

They come as a mass. A roiling, compacted sea of matted, boil-plagued fur and knotted tails. Mouths frothing rapid cry out a hideous rending song that scampers and squeals, and they pour up the steps like a wave and break against them as they run.

Martin fights hard as they're blocked in at a higher landing. He's getting good at fighting these days. He scythes with a home-made weapon of brute force and nails while Jon burrows into their backpack, and then he's being handed a flare as Jon casts down a glugging spill of petrol, and when it illuminates in a fetid barbecue stench, that guerilla action takes out a good few of them. Yet they are legion and there are only two of them, and they were shattered and wasting before even this assault, and Martin is not fast enough.

He remembers hearing Jon holler in agony, his body turning in a pirouette of violent motion and intended impact and private terror, and he doesn't even manage to complete his turn. A rat-king, made of up dozens of writhing furry bodies latches into his leg, using the leverage to claw savagely at his chest with a dozen back legs, a mauling amalgamation of impossible, flesh-rot limbs.

Something chomps into the meat of his arm and dangles there. He screams himself, the sound too big in the stairwell, a return cry of a dozen distant howling Martins, and his body shudders felled as he's pulled down, and he keeps on screaming. He's lost sight of Jon. There's blood and matted fur over his eyes. His lungs expanding with a breathless terror, he tries to batter them away like midges in a summer heat as they swarm over him and take him for food.

The patter of their nailed feet over his cheeks, the paper-cut, dig-drag sensation of the onslaught, the decisive and brutal splitting bite and rip of the skin of his throat.

“ _ **Stop.**_ ”

The rats stop. So does Martin. The scream bubbles un-made and unvoiced in his chest and he can't blink the blood out of his eyes. He can't see Jon, but he doesn't expect to. It's not Jon that's here with them any more.

“ _ **Tell me,**_ ” whisper-demands-croons-sings the thing that is no longer Jon, voice crashing on the rocks of them with with a wave-foam aftertaste of static and Martin's mouth fills with the saliva of every shameful story he's ever kept secret, every unkind thought, every mistake, every evidence of his fragile humanity laid bare.

“ _ **Tell me your story, Tangled Hoarde of Many Claws,**_ ” compels the voice of the Archive. “ _ **Let me rip your song from your spines.**_ ”

Martin pays hideous witnessing to the rats' screaming. He sees when they start rocking their mismatched, desecrated bodies, moaning and keening, when they start dying with all the violent grace that was probably afforded to Peter Lukas. The infected bodies that survive turn delirious, wailing in confusion, lost from their hive, dragging their broken-backed, broken-brained bodies from the battleground, and the Watcher drinks it all in.

Martin feels the compulsion flicker and falter like a loss of pressure. His mouth remembers the agony of his body.

The thing that is not Jon watches him for a steady moment. The edging of its eyes stretches, retracts like the pulsing bodies of jellyfish, and pupils bloom into existence like opening flowers with a sucking, popping sound. Still the thing stares and Martin wails at the torn places of his skin, and the flayed torn places in his head that the thing is calmly perusing through as his movements get weaker.

He wants Jon here. He is trembling, and blood-loss woozy and he wants Jon to tell him it'll be ok.

It is a body in all the ways something can be technically a body, and it moves in all the ways something can mechanically move. The hands that touch him are not the thin-spindle fingers that are deceptively calloused, they are not hands he knows, hands that have held him with a cherishing softness. There is nothing soft in this gaze, in being beheld by it,like being the only thing in the sights of some predator on a desolate, wind-scoured moor, nothing soft in its hold as it observes the violence done to Martin's body.

Martin gasps and thrashes faintly, gargles blood through the weeping gash in his throat, and the thing makes a sound like a snarl of tape being wound back.

“ _ **Breathe,**_ ” his body is commanded. It doesn't even have a mouth any more. It sounds its demand in the fibres of his skin, in the tendrils of his slipping-away consciousness, and Martin almost weeps at the meat-hook immoveable yank of it as he's made to persist.

It is unendurable to continue. And the thing, that flexes the outline of a face that could have been Jon's, whose eyes have lost all colour, replaced by the shock-wide black of pupils like the unblinking gaze of owls, will not permit him to drop into unconsciousness. Martin is instructed to live and breathe and survive in this blood-soaked, echoing stairwell, and his abused body does as instructed. It is efficient, this brutality of meatball surgery, but there is nothing human in it, and Martin's throat gags on a wail as a tourniquet is applied to his leg.

Finally, eyes that could be eyes he knows boil down to the front of the thing's face.

“ _ **Sleep. Long and dreamless,**_ ” comes the final command. Martin has no choice in the matter.

He awakes in a different place. There was a multi-level shopping centre running off one of the floors of the car park, and he opens his eyes in the plush-carpeted, desolate foyer of a multiscreen cinema. His body an anguish, aching and bruised to the bones of him. He blearily looks at the patch on his arm, the neatly sewn stitches and tape marking his skin, manages to move his arm with a pained wince to touch at the padding of gauze at his throat, his upper leg.

Around him like the elements of a summoning circle; medical gear, antiseptic and needle driver, tissue forceps, blood-heavy bindings discarded along with make-shift compression pads. Martin wonders how much of his body needed mending. How much of it was commanded to.

Jon is there. His face ashen and smeared with Martin's blood, the horrifying vista of his face returned to almost normal. Martin watches an eyeball roll back and into the scar tissue of Jon's throat. He has his back against a circular plinth, body collapsed and folded uncomfortably like he's lying where he fell.

He's not looking at Martin. His eyes – his own dark pupils returned to him – staring off at a distance Martin cannot reach, a horizon he cannot venture to.

There are the drying trails of tears down Jon's cheeks. His mouth is moving but it is not his voice that spools out but a testament of horror bestowed by some other poor soul using a pitched, uncanny mimicry.

Jon has the expression on his face of a man who has spent a long time drowning.

Martin wonders if he's too late to bring him back to shore.

Martin reaches out, fumbling, his motions jerky, imprecise. His reach limited by the bindings of his wounds, he flails his hand to touch Jon's leg, the bare skin revealed below the line of the trouser cuff, the only part of him he can reach.

“Jon, come back,” he pleads hoarsely, and stares at him as if hoping to snag his gaze away. “Come on, you can do it, come back to me.”

Jon's eyes blink slowly, like a lizard. His mouth doesn't stop moving. His body has started shivering, though it's warm enough here.

Martin wets his lips and wishes for water.

“I broke my wrist when I was six,” he says, the words scraping up the side of his throat. Jon's eyes flick sudden to him, and there are still the embers of a hungry light there. He has stopped talking. He is paying attention. “I used to play rugby, though I was never any good at it. There was a fight in the changing rooms when I was thirteen, and I stopped playing after that.” Martin sucks in more air and Jon's gaze doesn't leave him. He's stopped shivering.

The Eye likes the tales of minor tragedies, of fears and hurts and heartaches and so Martin feeds it like a praying man might light votive candles to try and lead his loved ones home.

“The first boy I loved, it-it was, we were at uni, but he was so ashamed of who he was he kept me a secret too,” he continues. “I am frightened that one day I'll become my dad. I miss Tim and who I remember Sasha being. I knew I had a crush on you when you told me I could stay in the Archives, and even then, I wished it gone because I didn't want to be hurt again and I thought you'd be the sort of man who'd tear me down to build himself up.” He clenches his fingers around Jon's ankle. “I am scared that one day you'll drown. Come back, Jon. It can't have you, come back to me.”

Jon sways and blinks woozy. He looks at Martin, seeing again, and his gaze is thready and human and terrified.

He's stumbling, crawling on hands and knees to Martin's side. Stuffed in his mouth are all the sorries and regrets and pains Martin can see writ large over his face; his hands span bird-flighty over Martin's healing, shattered places.

“Jon, I'm ok, you saved me, Jon, we're alive.”

Martin uses his arm to pull him close. Jon's hands are beginning to scatter in explanation, in apology, but Martin shushes him with a croaky, relieved sound and holds him, a known quantity cradled in his hands, rocking his creaking, bruised painfully human body as tight as his battered limbs can bear.

**Author's Note:**

> Content warnings for: graphic descriptions of violence and injury; Eye-based mental shenanigans.


End file.
